The financial infidelity It occurs when couples with mixed finances lie to each other about money. For example, one partner may have significant debts in a separate account while the other is unaware. Another common example is when one of the two makes large expenses without consulting their partner.
Breaking financial infidelity
Money can be a big point of contention between couplesThis is why it’s important for both of you to be open and honest about your financial situation, your spending, and your attitudes toward money.
It’s a good idea to review the financial charts of both partners before combining finances. What’s more, establish a system of mutual agreement to manage expenses can help avoid fights in the future. For example, many couples establish a subsidy system, which allows each partner to spend a fixed amount each month without having to consult the other. This allows the partners to maintain some of their financial independence while continuing to work toward common financial goals.
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Signs of financial infidelity
Today, with online bill payments and offers of Credit cards free flowing, it is quite easy to hide a debt.
Card issuers offer the ability to have bills sent via email instead of regular mail, so spouses won’t see monthly statements. From there, people who have trouble managing money can rack up tens of thousands of dollars in debt without their partner knowing, at least for a while.
Overspending on gifts, travel, or gambling with unexplained withdrawals from joint accounts is a classic sign of financial infidelity. Larger than normal cash withdrawals or checks made out to you to withdraw cash may be another sign.
Defensiveness or avoidance when one of the partners brings up the subject of money is common among couples struggling with financial infidelity. The list goes on, from hidden income to secret purchases and trips to casinos, to concealing bank statements and reducing joint accounts with the couple.
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What can be done?
It is best to confess and explain to your partner what is happening. Psychologists or couples counselors can help and facilitate this difficult conversation.
According to experts, one of the most important things is not to accuse, but to gather the facts in order to design an action plan to correct the situation.
All accounts must be open to both parties for scrutiny and discussion. Try to find shared goals that you both work towards. If there is a lot of debt, make a plan to pay it off and a plan to prevent new debt from appearing.
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Although it may seem strange, just as there is financial infidelity, there is also financial therapy, a relatively new field of specialization that includes psychological therapy and money management.
People with a tendency to buy compulsively, newlyweds who want to learn to plan their future, couples going through economic crises or financial infidels, are the ones who come to this type of therapy.
Money can have different connotations, it represents security, control and power. When an argument arises over money, other levels of conflict often appear. Also, when one partner is addicted to drugs or alcohol, things can get even more difficult. Therefore, going to a specialist is the best decision that a couple who is going through a situation of financial infidelity.